Ello ello.
This post is for you, Ricky.
Since i never post anymore..
I'M LIVING WITH JENNY.
finally. i'll keep my little defiant ass out of trouble.
(hopefully)
i can't wait to see meagan, cody, katy, everyone. it's been so many years.
it hurts to be away from home. i miss my family. my friends.
i'm so glad that my soulmate is here with me. i dunno what i'm gonna do when he goes back home.
i hope i don't break down...
shit, gotta take my meds..



sometimes i feel like all i have is my Juggalo Family.
but even then, i feel alone.
like i have no one but myself.
no one to talk to, tell them what's going on in my head.
i dunno what to do wonder if i really want to be dead.
a pole, a noose, maybe a knife, a bottle.
so many escapes from reality, yet i'm too weak to escape.
maybe it's the fear, do i really want to leave?
do i want to leave all this behind?
everything that i have worked towards is shit
somehow it all falls through as soon as i think i'm making it.
life is too complicated, death is so unknown.
it's like i'm stuck in the middle with no advice.
every move i make will be my own mistake.
fuck it

i don't even know what to do with myself anymore.
i'm falling deeper in this pit of fears.


i'm done writing, i disgust myself.